


Fears

by gaitorbait55



Series: UTM [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Becho, Clexa, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, The 100 - Freeform, grounders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4559070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaitorbait55/pseuds/gaitorbait55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is back with Lexa; safe and sound.<br/>Or so it seems.</p><p>Sequel to "Under the Mountain"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this. A bit more fluff in the beginning; angst will come though.

Lexa bolted up, knife in hand, as she heard a scream. The scream came from the blonde laying next to her. She quickly turned, putting the knife away as she realized there was no immediate danger to the blonde; she was having a nightmare. Clarke turned onto her side, tears rolling down her cheeks as she scrunched up her face like she was in pain.

"Clarke?" She whispered. She wrapped her arms around her, trying to calm her down.

"N-no." Clarke muttered in her sleep, trying to fight Lexa off. "L-let me go!" She sobbed. Lexa held on tighter, stopping Clarke from socketing her in the face.

"Clarke, it's ok." She said with a bit more force. "You're safe, you're home." She kept muttering until the girl woke up.

"L-lexa?" Clarke whispered as she blinked open her eyes, red from crying.

"Shh." Lexa moved an arm around her waist, the other arm around her shoulders to bring her closer. Clarke laid her head on Lexa's chest as she cried more. "You're safe. I've got you." She felt Clarke shake as she let out a sob. Lexa's gripped tighten more. It broke her heart to see Clarke like this; plagued with nightmares ever since they took her back from Cage. That had been almost three weeks ago and every night Clarke would wake up screaming and gasping. Sometimes Lexa would have to wake her up; like this night. She would hold Clarke until she cried herself back to sleep, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

"I'm sorry.." She heard Clarke sniffle. Clarke pulled back to wipe her tears. "I didn't mean to wake you up...again." Lexa had to hide the small smile that tried to make it's way to her face. Of course Clarke would apologize for having nightmares that woke the both of them up. That's something Lexa loved about her; no matter what Clarke always thought of others before her own self.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Clarke." She said, kissing her forehead. "We can not control what we dream off." She pulled Clarke back to lie on her. She felt Clarke shiver and pulled the furs, that were kicked off from Clarke's thrashing, back on top of them.

"I wish they would stop.." Clarke sniffled again, holding on to Lexa like her life depended on it. Lexa didn't reply, only nodded slightly. She wished they would stop too, to let Clarke get a full night's rest instead of just fragments. At night it was barely visible, but during the day one could see how the lack of sleep was affecting Clarke. Her eyes where dark and she didn't have the stamina. Though one could say that it was all because of the injuries Clarke sustained that were causing Clarke fatigue, Lexa knew better.

"Try and get some sleep." Lexa said to her Skai Prisa. "I will be here when you wake up, I promise." She whispered. Clarke nodded and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. Lexa rubbed small patterns on her back, carefully, soothing her. It was awhile before Clarke's breathing finally evened out. Lexa stayed awake, no longer tired. She held Clarke as the blonde slept. She would never let go of her love, not again.

Lexa continued to trace patterns on Clarke's back as she began to think of the past week. After they rescued Clarke they went back to the Ark where Abby treated her daughter. Clarke spent the first few nights in the Ark station; receiving medicine. Lexa thought back to the conversation she had with Abby.

 

(Flash Back)

 

Lexa stood by Clarke's bed as Abby gave Clarke more medicine via the IV tube that was attached to the blonde's arm. Although Lexa didn't trust the Sky People's medicine much, she had seen it work before and wanted the best for Clarke.

"Will she be ok?" Lexa asked quietly as she ran her fingers through Clarke's blonde tresses. If anyone other than Abby was in the room, she wouldn't have asked the question, not wanting to look weak. She was still the Commander in front of everyone, she needed to keep up appearances, her walls up. But those walls were always torn down when she was with Clarke; sometimes even with her mother, like now.

"She will....though it will take a long time for her body to heal." Abby said after a moment. Lexa looked up at the healer, silently asking for more information. "Apart from the blood loss, from the many, many opens wounds and cuts..." Abby sighed sorrowly. "They took a lot of her bone marrow, she'll need help walking for awhile. She won't be able to walk at least for a week, possibly two. Especially with that leg, though luckily it was a simple fracture." Lexa nodded at this, silently promising to make sure Clarke as off her feet, even if Clarke dismissed what her mother says. The thought make Lexa smile softly, Clarke was always stubborn when she wanted something. She was pulled out of her thoughts as Abby continued. "She's though though...so I know she'll pull through." Lexa and Abby shared a small smile, Clarke was definitely strong.

"She will." Lexa said softly. She knew Clarke would pull through. Abby stayed to the side for a few more moments, before grabbing her jacket that was thrown across the room earlier.

"I'm going to catch a few hours of sleep before I check on her again." She said. "If you wish, use one of the empty cots to rest." She told the Commander; gesturing to an empty bed a few feet away.'

"Thank you, Abby of the Sky People." Lexa said softly. Abby nodded and left the room, leaving Lexa alone with Clarke.

 

(End Flashback)

 

Lexa sighed once more as she looked at the girl sleeping in her arms. She brushed some hair out of Clarke's face, watching her breathe gently. Lexa felt her heart swell with warmth as she looked at Clarke. She leaned and kissed her on the forehead, "You're safe." She whispered before closing her eyes. She needed her sleep before facing tomorrow.


	2. Talk

"Heda. Heda.” A Voice whispered to a sleeping Lexa. Lexa instantly woke up; years of training and sleeping with an eye open. She looked up at the face of Octavia then to the sleeping blond in her arms.

“Octavia?” She whispered back. “What is that you need?” She asked, a bit annoyed at being woken up.

“My apologies Heda, but Indra needs you outside. She said she needed to discuss somethings with you.” The warrior in training replied as she straightened up. Lexa sighed before looking at Clarke again. The blond beauty looked peaceful for once; not the pained expression she normally woke up to. She really didn’t want to get up right now and deal with the outside world. She wanted to stay here in the tent holding her love.

“If you want… I can stay here until she wakes up, then I’ll come get you.” Octavia said after a few moments of silence.

“That might be best.” Lexa said and slowly climbed out of the bed, being careful as to not wake up Clarke. Lexa pulled the fur blankets up back over Clarke’s form before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She looked at Octavia to see her standing a few feet away and her head turned, letting Lexa have her moment of privacy with Clarke. Lexa starting getting dressed. She put on her shoulder gear and her blades. “I want you to come and get me immediately when she wakes.” Lexa ordered.

“Sha, Heda.” Octavia dipped her head. Lexa nodded back before walking to the entrance of the tent. She paused and looked back at Clarke; she hoped whatever business she had to get done she could get done quickly so he could be with Clarke.

“She’ll be okay Lexa, I’ll make sure of it.” Octavia said gently as Lexa’s gaze landed on Clarke once more. Lexa only nodded again before walking out of the tent. She internally sighed before spotting Indra, whom was standing a couple of yards away alone, and walked over to her.

“Commander.” Indra nodded a greeting to her.

“What is it that you needed to speak to me about?” Lexa asked, straight to the point. Indra glanced around a moment before speaking.

“There was a fight this morning Heda.” Indra stated.

“About what exactly?” Lexa asked, hiding her surprise.

“It was between a Trikru and a Skaikru. There have been several disagreements between us these last two days.”

“And why haven’t I been told this before a fight broke out?” Lexa demanded.

“Because, you seemed to have your hands full with the Sky girl.” Indra said, her gaze landing on Lexa’s tent for a moment. “I apologise, next time I will tell you of them.”

“You better, even if it is something small. I need to be aware of everything that goes around Indra.”

“Yes Heda.”

“Is there anything else you needed?”

“The Skaikru’s healer, Abby, said for me to tell you that she will be arriving later to check on Clarke.” Lexa nodded at this.

“Very well.” She said and waved her hand. “Go back to you duties.” Indra nodded and turned to leave. Lexa watched her go before she turned to go back to her tent. Before she could get five steps in she heard someone yelling.

“Heda! Heda!” She turned to see a warrior, one she recognized as Zain, riding up to her on top of his horse.

“Speak Zain, what is wrong?” Lexa asked the rider.

“Luna of the boat people has a message for you.” He reported. “She wishes to speak to you by the creek.”

“Tell her I will be there shortly.” She told him and he rode off. Lexa frowned for a moment, wondering what her friend would wish to speak about. She was a bit surprised that Luna was here instead of by the ocean, her home. Whatever it was must be important. Lexa walked back to her tent to find Octavia sitting by clarke’s bed, the blond was still asleep.

“Heda.” Octavia got up at once.

“I must go and speak to Luna of the Boat people.” She told her before Octavia could ask. “Stay here until I get back. I shall try to make it quick.” Octavia nodded and sat back down by Clarke’s bed, watching her.

Lexa made her way back outside and saw a young boy walk over to her with her horse. She nodded her thanks before getting onto Noir, making a clicking noise to signal him off. Once she was out of camp she set him to a trot, making her way towards the creek.


	3. Warning

Lexa stopped her horse at the edge of the cleaning. she saw Luna sitting on a large rock by the stream. The slightly older warrior had jet black hair and light blue and grey clothing. She had a bow slung over her shoulder as well as a dagger on her side.

“Luna.” Lexa said as she got off her horse.

“Lexa.” Luna smiled in greeting to the young commander. She got off the rock and stepped closer to her. Lexa held out her arm in the normally grounder greeting; grabbing each other’s forearms and shaking. Luna looked at her extended arm and shook her head before pulling her friend into a hug. Lexa stiffened slightly before relaxing into the hug.

“You should know by now that I’m a hugger, Lexa.” Luna said as they stepped apart.

“Yes, I should have remembered that.” Lexa said with a small roll of her eyes. Luna grinned back, before dropping it.

“How is the Skai girl?” She asked, knowing how much Lexa cared for the girl.

“She is doing...better.” Lexa said after a moment.

“She is strong Lexa, do not worry.” Luna told her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I know.”Lexa let out a small smile before clearing her throat. “Is that all you wanted to see me about?”

“No, though the Skai girl is still the center of the conversation.” The boat leader replied.

“What do you mean?” Lexa arrowed her eyes a tad bit. “Speak true.”

“I have heard from another clan that they do not like your relationship with the Skaikru, especially with their leader.”

“Why is that?”

“They fear the Skaikru, some of them fear them.” Luna didn’t have to speak much more. Lexa knew what she was talking about. She had heard a few whispers even among her own people about their fears that the Skaikru would overrun them; with their guns and machines.

“They have nothing to fear.” Lexa stated, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “The Skairkru are not a threat. They know we could kill them all if needed.” Lexa hoped they wouldn’t need to though. She didn’t think she could handle Clarke’s heartbreak that would come with it.

“I know this. My people know this as well. Clarke is a hero among us, plus she is your Houmon. No one would dare mess with her.” Luna smirked as Lexa diverted her eyes from her friend for a moment.

“Yes well…” Lexa shiftly on her feet. “Anyone who would dare try to harm her will have me to deal with.”

“I figured.” Luna smiled. “I just came to warn you just in case. I don’t want you to lose her when you just got her.” She said softly. Lexa nodded slightly. Luna knew that Lexa had lost Costia because she was her’s. She didn’t want her friend to relive that heartbreak; she didn’t know if Lexa could handle it a second time.

“Thank you.” Lexa told her, giving a small smile. Luna smiled back. Before they could continue their conversation the sound of hooves came.

“Heda.” The young boy who had taken care of her horse came riding up. “The Skai girl has awoken. Octavia sent me to gather you.”

“Tell Octavia I am on my way.” She told the boy; whom nodded and took off. Lexa looked back at her friend who was smiling.

“Go on.” She said gently. She gave her one more hug “I must return to my people, but I will come to visit soon.”

“Travel safe, Luna.” She said before turning and mounting her horse again. She signalled him off once again towards camp.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Clarke groaned softly as she woke up.

“Lexa…?” She muttered when she realized that her love wasn’t in bed with her.

“She had some business to take care of Clarke.” Octavia said as she kneeled next to her. Clarke just groaned again; her head hurt. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got real drunk last night.” Clarke said, closing her eyes again.

“Really?” Octavia asked with a frown. She felt her forehead. “I think you got a fever.” Clarke didn’t respond; only scrunched up her face like she was in pain.

“It….hurts…” Clarke muttered. She felt like her back was on fire.

“Hang on, I’ll be right back.” She said before getting up and disappearing out of the tent. She came back a few minutes later with Nyko, the camp’s healer. “I sent someone to fetch Lexa and I brought Nyko.” Octavia told her and kneeled back beside Clarke. Clarke nodded slightly in response. Her head hurt to much to speak. Octavia could see sweat already forming on Clarke’s face.

“You were right Octavia.” Nyko said as he looked her over. “She has a fever, a high one.”

“M-my back…..hurts..” Clarke whimpered slightly.

“Her back? She said her back hurts.” Octavia said. Nyko nodded.

“We need to turn her over, carefully.” He told her and together they managed to flip Clarke over. Though she had cried out a bit when they accidentally jostled her fractured leg. Nyko then peeled her shirt up a bit, exposing her back. On her back were several different sizes of cuts and slashes. Octavia look at her back and gasped a bit. There was one slash, it went from one side of her back to the other side in a diagonal. It was red and puffy.

“That it?” Octavia asked.

“Yes, it seems to be infected. Luckily it’s in it’s early stage, but we must not let it get any worse.” Nyko said.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked.

“I need a bucket of warm water, some clothes. I will get the bandages and salve.” They left Clarke alone for a few minutes to gather their supplies. Once they got back, Nyko started cleaning out the wound, Octavia held Clarke down. Clarke cried out a few times, her back burned with each rub. She felt like she was on fire. They were half way done with cleaning the wound when Lexa burst into the tent.

“What are you doing to her?!” She demanded as she marched over.

“L-lexa?” Clarke gasped out as Nyko continued cleaning out the wound.

“Shh, I’m here.” She said softly, wiping the tears that were falling down Clarke’s face, before turning to glare at the other two. “I’ll ask you once more: What are you doing?”

“When she woke she was feverish,” Octavia told her. “I fetched Nyko and we found she had a pretty bad infection in one of wounds.” Lexa nodded, understanding.

“We will be finished in a just a few.” Nyko said. Clarke gritted her teeth; face scrunched in pain. Lexa took the damp rag that was nearby and starting wiping Clarke’s face. She watched Nyko work and once he was finished she helped him lift her slightly so he could wrap her back in bandage wraps. “Here,” He gave Lexa some herbs. “Mix this with some warm water. It’ll help her with the pain and sleep.”

“Mochof.” She murmured before signaling them to leave. Once they left she shed her gear and got the tea ready. She gave it to Clarke and helped her drink it before climbing into bed with Clarke. The girl whimpered slightly as Lexa got in. Lexa was careful as she wrapped her arms around Clarke; mindful of where her arms were. It took a few moments but they finally settled; Clarke practically lying on top of the commander and Lexa’s arms around her. They both fell asleep soon after.


	4. Girlfriend? Girlffiend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is for real a fluff chapter lol

It had been a few days since Clarke's infected cut had been found. Her fever had gone down. She had slept mostly the first day afterwards. Lexa sat in a chair next to their bed, watching Clarke sleep peacefully. The blonde was curled up on her side; most of the cuts on her sides were healing nicely so she was able to lie on it comfortably. Every now and then Lexa would take a damp rag and brush it over Clarke's forehead, neck, and back. 

She stood and looked at Clarke's back, lifting the shirt up carefully as to not wake her. She looked at the bandage wrap on her back; it would need to get changed again here soon. Lexa ran her fingers gently down the sleeping girl's back. She looked over the other slashes as well. Most of the were healing nicely, some would heal without scarring but the Sky Princess would have multiple scarring. Lexa frowned as she thought about it. When Lexa had first known Clarke the girl's skin was almost scar free. A few scars here and there, but for the most part it was smooth, perfect skin. Lexa would run her hands all over it, memorized by it. Unlike her own skin which was lined with scars upon scars from years of battling. Lexa stood back up from her leaning position over Clarke to find bright, blue eyes looking up at her. Lexa gave her a small warm smile.

"Hey." Clarke said with a smile.

"Greetings." Lexa said back, making Clarke grin. Lexa was so formal, even with the little things."How are you feeling?" 

"Better, all this sleep is making me restless though." She said as she stretched a bit, wincing slightly.

"Restless? I would think you would be restful." Lexa said, earning a playful eye roll from Clarke.

"You know what I mean." Lexa chuckled. She understood. Clarke had been on strict bed rest for the past two weeks, but now that Clarke was feeling better she wanted to stretch her legs. 

"I want to walk around." Clarke said, watching Lexa, whom opened her mouth o say she could. "And not just around the tent." Clarke interrupted her with a small glare. Her leg felt much better now; fractures healed faster than an actual broken bone. She had been taking it easy, walking a littler here and there but each time she asked to walk around, Lexa insisted she stay in the tent and not go out. Lexa resisted the urge to roll her eyes, though she knew she couldn't keep the girl in there forever. Although she tried.

"Fine, but I will accompany you." Lexa stated. Clarke shrugged, she figured as much. Lexa helped her stand up; Clarke was still a bit shaky every now and then. Together they made their way outside, Lexa stepping close incase the Sky girl needed her. Clarke smiled as she glanced around the camp. There was people bustling about, some working and others talking.

"Clarke!" Clarke heard a small shout come from their right before she was slammed into a small body, it was Monroe. 

"Hey." Clarke greeted around a small wince. She glanced at Lexa, she looked like she wanted to tear the smaller girl off of Clarke.

"Oh sorry." Monroe said as she saw Clarke wince and stepped back. "Just really glad you're doing better." 

"Thanks, glad to be feeling better." Clarke smiled.

"Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, Monty, and Jasper are all eating lunch across camp." She informed her. 

"I'm sure they'll be happy to hear you're up and running."

"I wouldn't say I was running." Clarke said with a chuckle.

"You better not be." Lexa mumbled under her breathe, but figured she was heard when Clarke gave her a look.

"Well better not keep them waiting." Clarke said to Monroe before looking back at Lexa. Lexa nodded at Clarke. They started walking when a small boy ran up to Lexa with a small panicked expression. He started speaking to her fast and Lexa nodded, expression grim. Clarke stared at them in concern, she wished she knew more Trigedaslang so she could understand.

"I must go." Lexa sighed as she turned to the two. "Hopefully this will not take long, I will returned shortly." She gave Clarke a small kiss on her forehead, which surprised Clarke a bit. She wasn't expecting the Commander to show affection outside of their tent. "Monroe, make sure she eats." Make sure she stays safe, was the silent command in which Monroe nodded.

"Ma'm, yes ma'm." The girl said with a small salute. Lexa raised an eyebrow before hurrying off. Clarke watched her go before she felt Monroe's hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon. I know you must be hungry." With that the two continued walking towards the rest of the group.

____________________________________________________________________________

"And then she ran around our home in just her underwear!" Bellamy said with a large shit-eating grin.

"Bell! I did not!" Octavia scoffed and pushed her brother. She turned away, but not before the rest of the group saw her red face. Clarke had walked up to the group as Bellamy was in the middle of telling them a childhood story of Octavia; apparently she was a pant-hating baby. Clarke chuckled lightly as she heard them. Octavia, with her keen grounder-trained ears, popped her head up as she heard her.

"Clarke!" The petite brunette grinned at her and got up to hug her. A chorus of:

"Clarke!" -Raven

"Good to see you awake." -Bellamy

"She's Aliiiive!" -Jasper

"Hey guys." Clarke smiled back, chuckling at Jasper, and sat down next to Octavia and Bellamy. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just waiting for you to get up and out of that tent." Bellamy replied.

"Nothing much?" Raven scoffed. "Puh-lease. C'mon Bell, tell her!" Raven grinned.

"Tell me what?" Clarke asked, intrigued.

"It's uh...well...I-" Bellamy stuttered.

"He's hooked up with a grounder." Octavia answered for him.

"And not just any Grounder." Raven added.

"Who is it?" Clarke asked with a grin.

"We'll give you one guess." Monty said then Jasper cupped his mouth.

"Echo- echo- echo." He repeated the name as if he were in a cave and it was actually echoing.

"Aww!" Clarke could squeal if she wanted. "That's awesome Bell!" 

"Yeah well..." He replied, still trying to act macho. But it was no use.

"Bell's got a girlfriend. Bell's got a girlfriend!" Octavia sang, Bellamy shoved her.

"Speaking of girlfriend's..." Raven said before looking at Clarke. Clarke silently gulped at the shit-eating grin Raven supported. "How's your girlfriend?"

"M-my what?" Clarke blushed.

"Don't fucking play with me Griffin." Raven said with a no nonsense tone.

"Well...I just... don't really know..." Clarke said with a small shrug. Truth was she really didn't know what they were. She knew she loved Lexa, and Lexa loved her..but they had never actually talked about it before.

"Don't know what, Clarke?" Clarke jumped as she heard Lexa behind her.

"Speak of the devil and she shall come." Jasper whispered, Clarke shot him a glare. Lexa frowned slightly, not fully understanding but dismissed it.

"What do you not understand?" Lexa asked again, looking at Clarke. The blonde blushed slightly.

"She doesn't know if you two are going out." Raven said, looking up at the Commander.

"Going..out?" Lexa asked. "Why would we be going out? Is there a meeting we should have gone too?" She asked, generally confused.

"No, no." Octavia said. "It means....like, are you two girlfriends?" 

"Girl-friends? We are girls and we are friends, so yes." Lexa replied, still not comprehending.

"Girlfriends is a term of endearment, Heda." Octavia said. "Like how Lincoln and I are going out. I'm his girlfriend." She said, making sure Lexa understood.

"Ah." Lexa nodded then looked at Clarke. "If that is she wishes." Lexa said, making it known it was Clarke's choice. Her eyes shown with hope though.

"It is." Clarke smiled gently, then grabbed Lexa's hand. Lexa smiled back and gripped her hand; she had learned a bit ago that the Sky People held each other's hands in affection.

"They're so cute it's disgusting." Raven said after a few moments of them staring at each other. Octavia tried to stop her laugh from escaping. Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled as Lexa took a seat next to Clarke. 

"Have you eaten yet Clarke." Lexa asked.

"Uh actually...no. Got caught up talking, kind of slipped my mind." Clarke said with an 'oops' smile. Lexa gave her a look before shooting Monroe the same look. Monroe held up her hands in surrender.

"Here, there's some left overs." Monty said and gave her a plate.

"And this Monty, is why you're my favorite." She grinned at him before she started eating.

"Oh so we're playing favorites now are we?" Raven asked with a mock glare.

"Mhhm." Clarke said with a mouth full, offering Lexa some. Lexa grabbed a small sliver of meat and bit it. She smiled in thanks.

"Like I said, disgustingly cute!" Raven half-whispered, making most of the group laugh.


	5. The burdon we both share

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this chapter is precious to me. Clarke reminds me a lot of myself tbh, her character and actions. That might me why I fell in love with her character. I feel for Clarke; I just want her happy tbh. I wish I had someone like Clarke has Lexa in this story. (wish it were cannon lol)

A tall grounder with short dirty blonde hair sat on a boulder sharpening his sword. Next to him sat a slightly shorter boy with short black hair; half of his head shaved. The taller grounder glanced at his friend since birth before continuing with his sword. He looked at the Commander's tent, which was not to far away from where he was sitting, and narrowed his eyes has the Skai Heda walked out of his Heda's tent. The girl looked better than she had been a bit ago; stronger. He could see she was regaining strength; although slowly.

"Yuan?" He heard from beside him.

"Yes?" Yuan asked Pean.

"Where did you go just now? You seemed to have gotten lost in that thick skull of yours." Pean grinned as he teased Yuan about his stubbornness. Yuan rolled his eyes.

"I was merely thinking." He replied, going back to sharpening his sword. He could see the Skai Heda from the corner of his eye.

"About what?" Pean asked curiously.

"It is nothing Pean, I promise." Yuan offered the younger boy a rare small smile. Pean grinned back and nodded before sharpening his daggers. Yuan watched him for a moment before glancing back at the Skai Prisa.

______________________________________________________________________________

Clarke walked around the grounder camp, watching some of the warriors train for a little bit before getting a bite to eat. Lexa was in a meeting with a nearby clan; something about territorial treatments. Though nothing serious, Lexa had assured her. Clarke sat on a log by a small fire, watching some of the grounders work around the camp. She saw a few grounder children run by as a young warrior chased them. Clarke smiled slightly at the thought; but it quickly vanished as her mind went towards thoughts of the Mountain Men's children. How she had burned them all; saving none.

Sure she had given little (no) choice but to kill them. She still felt guilty of it. A shiver went down her spine as she saw their faces in her mind. She saw them every night; some days were worse than others, but that didn't make it any better. She sighed and ran a hand down her tired face. She wished she could have at least one decent night of rest without being plagued by the nightmares. Tears pricked the edge of her eyes the more she thought about them; she fought them of course. She couldn't openly cry in front of the grounders.

"Clarke?" She jumped as she heard Lexa. She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't even realize she was walked over; not that she would or could ever hear the Commander anyways. Dang stealthy grounders.

"Hmm?" She asked as she quickly wiped her eyes; not trusting her voice at the moment. Lexa knelt down in front of her and took her face in the palms of her hands. She looked into sky blue eyes,tinged in sadness, before standing up and pulling Clarke along with her.

"Come on." She said softly, leading them back to her tent. Both of them too caught up in each other's presence to notice a few sets of eyes watching them.

"What is wrong?" Lexa turned to Clarke once they were safe from wandering eyes in their tent.

"It's nothing." Clarke responded.

"It is not nothing if it makes you shed tears." Lexa said softly, cupping Clarke's cheeks with her hands. Clarke gave a shaky sigh before nodding slightly.

"I...I still see them, Lexa." Clarke choked out. "Not just in my dreams..." She let out a few tears. Lexa brushed them off with her thumb.

"I thought your nightmares where lessening."

"T-they are. They happen less now.." Lexa nodded at her before kissing her nose.

"Tell me what is happening in that head of yours." Lexa asked. Clarke bit her lip, pondering on whether to tell her or not. "Beja." Lexa asked again, seeing her thinking.

"...I feel guilt. They died. All of them. The guilty, the innocent. They shouldn't have died." Clarke whispered.

"Clarke. You had to do what you did to save your people." Lexa told her sternly, trying to get the girl to understand. She had been here once. When she first took command. She had to go on a raiding party with Anya and was forced to slaughter the village for harboring criminals and innocents. She remembered Anya speaking to her just like this.

"I know. I know but.."

"But nothing Clarke. If you hadn't have, then what would have happened in the future? They could have turned on us in the future. The weapons they have in the mountain are more dangerous than any of ours. You saved us from all destruction in the future. You freed warriors: mothers and fathers, children." Lexa told her, looking into her broken sky blue eyes. "This grief might last awhile, but you are stronger than it and it will go away." Lexa pulled the girl towards her and wrapped her arms around her, stroking her hair as Clarke broke down sobbing.

"I'm not-" She hiccupped. "Strong enough...n-not like you."

"No, you're not." Lexa said softly. "You are stronger Clarke of the Sky People. Stronger than me. You brought down a mountain that we have fear for generations. You demanded an alliance and fought for it. You are braver and stronger than anyone I have seen." She said, rocking her slightly. "Let me carry this burden; if not for you than with you. I know the pain of the ghosts that haunt you. Let me help you carry the weight of them." She whispered in her ear. She felt Clarke breath shakily onto her neck before giving a nod.

"Okay." She said quietly, exhausted from the emotional toll. Lexa looked down at her Sky Girl's face and scooped her up swiftly. Clarke made a small squeak at the sudden movement, in which Lexa couldn't help but smile at. Lexa carried her their bed and laid her there.

"Rest ain houmon." Lexa said softly. "I must make sure dinner is being prepared then I shall join you." She kissed Clarke's forehead. Clarke nodded and Lexa turned to walk to the tent's entrance.

"I love you." She heard a quiet whisper. Lexa turned and smiled.

"Ai hod yu in as well." She said back before exiting the tent.

______________________________________________________________________________

Yuan watched his commander leave her tent once again; without the Sky Heda. He waited a little bit; making sure his Heda was busy before making his way into the forest. He went to the stream a bit away and filled it with water. He took out a vial and mixed it into the water. He then got up and carried it back to camp; making his way to the Heda's tent.


	6. First Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol you guys are going to hate me.

Lexa came back after checking that the food was preparing and checking for any other reports. Luckily there was none so she decided to head back to her tent before dinner. She walked into her tent, nodding to her guard as she walked by, and her eyes immediately sought out her lover's body resting on the furs. She let herself a small smile seeing Clarke sleeping peacefully before making her way over. She past by the small table near the bed, pausing for a moment as she saw a new jug of water sitting on it. She frowned slightly, wondering why it seemed odd to her. Her moment of thought was interrupted when she heard Clarke groan softly. She looked at the bed and saw Clarke stretching her arms over her head.

"Hey." Clarke said as she saw Lexa, her voice thick with sleep still.

"Did you rest well?" Lexa asked as she sat on the edge of the bed closest to Clarke's head. Clarke rolled onto her side, so that her body was facing Lexa.

"Would have been better if you were here with me." Clarke replied with a smile.

"I apologize but I had-"

"It's fine, really Lexa." CLarke interrupted her with a grin. "Really, I was just teasing." Lexa huffed after she said that, making the blonde chuckle. She cleared her throat before sitting up. "Is there any water available?"

"Yes, just a moment." Lexa responded as she got up and walked to the table with the jug. She poured Clarke a cup and gave it to her. Clarke gulped it down, not realizing how thirsty she was. Lexa refilled it and Clarke drank the second cup more slowly.

"Thanks." She said once she finished the second cup. Lexa nodded.

"Heda?" The guard outside said from the entrance of the tent.

"What?" Lexa responded, looking at the guard who poked his head in.

"Dinner is ready; would you like for me to get you something?" The guard asked. Lexa looked to Clarke.

"Do you wish to eat in here or outside?" She asked.

"Outside. Fresh air would be nice." Clarke said as she stood up. Her stomach was starting to feel queasy, but she put it off to wanting some food.

"We will be coming out. Thank you." Lexa dismissed the guard. Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and walked outside with her. They went to wear the large boar was cooked.

______________________________________________________________________________

To say Clarke wasn't feeling good was an understatement. She barely ate anything, her stomach was killing her. She felt sweat drip down the side of her head. Lexa looked over at her, noticing that she ate very little.

"Clarke?" She asked, watching her. When she didn't responded Lexa opened her mouth to call her name again when Clarke slumped forward. "Clarke!" Lexa yelled, alarmed. She rolled Clarke over, her eyes were rolled to the back of her head and her body started seizing.

"NYKO!" She yelled, hoping the healer was close by. Clarke started foaming at the mouth. Lexa turned her onto her side so she wouldn't choke on her own spit.

"Heda?!" She heard Nyko rush over.

"Help her!!" Lexa yelled desperately. Nyko widened his eyes when he saw Clarke, he had seen this many times.

"She has been poisoned!" He said angrily. He pulled out the vial in his coat and put in to Clarke's lips. "She must drink this." He said to Lexa. She helped him sit Clarke up slightly and forced the drink down the blonde's throat. Within moments Clarke started throwing up what little food she had in her stomach; along with the water she had drank earlier, until she was left dry heaving. Lexa looked at Nyko, questioningly.

"She hasn't been cut." He said. He had seen her earlier and knew she wasn't attack. She had been with Lexa practically all day. "She was feed the poison. She must throw it back up." He told her. Lexa nodded and looked down at the shaking girl. Clarke groaned after she coughed up more substance from her stomach. She was clutching her stomach, trying to make the pain stop. Lexa moved Clarke's head so that it rested on her lap.

"Is there anything else you can do for her?" Lexa asked him.

"No." He shook his head. "The pain with ease soon, for now she needs to lie down. No moving, just incase if there is still some poison in her system. We don't wish for it to spread." He told her. Lexa nodded once more before picking Clarke up bridal style. Clark groaned in protest to her aching stomach. Lexa whispered sweet nothings to her before she glanced around. A few grounders had heard the commotion and had come over to investigate. She saw some of the worried gazes of her warriors; they had come to respect and admire the sky girl and were worried after they saw what happened.

Lexa carried Clarke back to her tent. The guard opened the tent flap for her and she walked into the tent. She sat the frail blonde down onto the furs; Clarke had already passed out. Lexa grabbed a cloth that was nearby and gently cleaned Clarke's sweat covered face with it. She took off Clarke's jacket, then her boots before tucking her under the furs. She stood back up and looked around the room, her eyes landing on the water jug. She narrowed her eyes and walked over, grabbing the jug and picking it up. She sniffed the water and her eyes widened. No wonder she thought it was strange it was there. She could smell the poison in the water, though it was very well hidden. It was most likely why she didn't catch it at first. She growled to herself as she stormed out of the tent, past her guard, to the middle of the camp.

"Who was the one that filled this jug!" She practically roared, looking at the warriors around her. She saw them look at each other, wondering who did. She glared around at the crowded, her patience trimming thin. She narrowed her eyes as she spotted a boy slightly younger than herself, Pean, looking nervous. "You." She said, pointing to him.

"Me, heda?" He asked. She nodded once and he walked forward.

"Did you fill this jug up." She asked, her voice threateningly low.

"N-no heda, honest." Pean said, then had a slightly confused expression on his face. "But I know of the one who owns the jug... He is my longest friend." He wondered what Yuan's jug was doing in the Heda's tent.

"What is the name of your friend?" Lexa demanded. "Now!"

"Yuan."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't like me for the last chapter then you're REALLY not going to like me for this chapter ;)

Yuan ran for his life. Literally. After he had put the poisoned water into the Heda's tent he ran away from camp. He knew they would be finding out about the water soon so he hoped to get as far away from camp as he could. But it was of no use. After about an hour or so of running he could hear horses coming from the direction he was running from, followed by loud whoops and yells. He ran faster. An arrow whipped by his head, missing him by inches. He yelled out and stumbled as another arrow hit his left calf.

"Skish!!" He grunted as he pulled it out and started to move again, only to get a knife embedded in his back. He fell and groaned as his back roared with pain. The horses, and warriors, surrounded him.

"Yuan, you're coming with us." A male warrior growled out as he roughly grabbed Yuan and hauled him to his feet. Another gona, female, came over and chained his hands together. They threw him over the saddle of and horse and took off back to camp.

When they made it back to camp they saw Lexa standing at the entrance. She was in full battle gear, including war paint. If looks could kill the man would have been dead many times.

"Take him inside the prisoner tent." She ordered and followed them as they made their way to the camp of the camp, where they kept most prisoners. They chained Yuan up to a pole; his arms were together above his head. He was not able to sit in this position. Lexa stepped inside the tent, her presence over bearing. She nodded to the two warriors to stand guard outside. Another guard stood in the tent with her, she allowed this.

"Yuan." She started as soon as she was closer to him. "Were you or were you not the one who filled the jug that was found in my tent." He glared at her, but stayed silent. Lexa's glare intensified, if possible, before she grabbed her blade and sliced his arm. He grunted at the unexpected pain before he felt the same dagger by his throat. "You seem to be thinking I have much patience for you." She growled, pressing it harder to his throat. "I would rethink that thought."

"Yes. I did."

"Whom was it meant for."

"It was meant for the sky girl. You as well would have been a bonus, but it was for the girl."

"Why?"

"I can not say." He said right before another slice on the opposite arm. Still, he remained silent; opting to glare at her.

"I ask once more. Why." She growled.

"I was ordered." He replied.

"By whom?" She asked, an uneasy feeling started to fill in the pit of her stomach.

"Someone you should know quite well, Heda." He replied with a smirk.

"If you don't tell me right now then I shall just cut out your tongue as this moment." She threatened him.

"Go ahead. I won't say anything." He said looking her in the eye. "Besides. You will be finding out any moment now." He said, right before shouts were heard from outside, followed by a scream.

Lexa widened her eyes at the scream.

"Heda! Heda!!"

"And so it begins." Yuan grinned. His grinning face soon changed to one of terror as Lexa slit his throat. She then spun around and dashed out the tent. She paused for a moment to survey the area. Warriors were fighting left and right; it seemed to be that invaders were trying to raid the village. Her eyes widened as she saw the colors of the other warriors: blue and grey.

Azgeda.

Ice Nation.

Another scream spilled through the air, this time it chilled Lexa to the bones.

"Clarke!!" She yelled and started in the direction of the tent, only to be intercepted by an ice warrior. He swung the blade at her, in which she blocked with her own sword. She pushed his sword with hers and swung it to the left, catching his side slightly. He grunted and swung it at her once more. Their swords clashed with each other's over and over until Lexa finally managed to bring her swung through his chest.

She let the body fall and turned around, only for another Ice warrior's blade to nick her arm. She gritted her teeth as the wound bled slightly. She saw two warriors charge at her. She bared her teeth and through her dagger at one's chest, catching her target. The warrior slumped to the side. She then swung her sword at the other. Their battle was much shorter; she swung her blade across the other's neck. Blood splashed onto her face. She was breathing heavy, adrenaline coursed through her veins.

Then a horn blew from somewhere away from camp. Just as quickly as the Ice warriors came, they were retreating. Lexa's warriors whooped and hollered, giving some of the Azgeda chase. Lexa felt her stomach start to sink, something wasn't right. The Azgeda would never just retreat so soon. Lexa ran towards her tent, her wounds be damned. She pulled the flap to her tent away and her stomach dropped.

There was blood on the floor and Clarke was no where to be found.


End file.
